So Close
by strangelydelusional
Summary: AU in which Aurora's getting married to Philip but decides to practice her dance with Killian instead. Inspired by the song So Close by Jon McLaughlin.


"_Practice my dancing with me?"_

"_Can't you ask someone else? Like David, Jefferson or… I don't know, Henry?" _

"_David and Jefferson are busy and Henry's a child."_

"_Your point?"_

"_My point is, you are going to practice my dance with me no buts, no ifs, not a single word from your mouth. I'll see you tonight at 8 o'clock."_

Killian sat at the edge of his bed as he mumbled words that one couldn't fathom as he replayed the scene in his head. He should've just said no straight away. But instead, his cocky attitude made him play with her – which didn't turn out the way he would have wanted it.

It was already 7:15, less than an hour before he meets up with her. Should he go? Part of him wants to leave and never come back, sail the seven seas alone like he always used to. On the contrary, part of him wants to dance with her. To hold her close to his body as the music surrounds them. He wanted to squeeze her hand, spin her only to have his arm wrap around her waist – Killian violently shook his head in frustration as if bees were hovering above his head, his head buried to both his hands. He shouldn't be thinking of dancing with her; he shouldn't dance with her and he shouldn't think about her. And yet these are the thoughts that are currently swimming in his head. How could he, a pirate, let himself fall for a princess? And what's worse than that is she's not just any princess. She's an _engaged _princess. After the group had returned to Storybrooke, they were able to get Philip's soul back for Aurora and therefore were able to bring him back to life. Amidst all the celebration, he proposed to her to which she fully accepted. _Oh joy._

He plopped himself, letting the cushion of the bed swallow him to an inch or so. He wanted her out of his mind. But every time he tries to erase her from his memory, he sees a woman with such beauty one couldn't simply ignore. Her eyes with a tinge of sparkle – so blue that you can drown in them; her hair that falls to her shoulders, her curls were not near perfect and yet the way it falls down, so flawless, so picture perfect; her skin, her delicate porcelain skin that every guy would yearn to touch or feel – not a single flaw embedded in her. _Shit._ Killian snapped out of his thought realizing he was thinking of her _again_, for the nth time. _I should really stop doing that._ He sat straight up once again, turning his head slightly to his left to have a good look at the clock. 8:04. _Fuck._

Killian wasted no time in rushing to get a decent outfit that would look good on him as he tried to visualize himself dancing with Aurora in her purple outfit that fits her perfectly. Who knew that he could move so quick that within a matter of seconds, he was fully dressed and prepared for his meeting with the princess. He didn't want to run – or more like he didn't want her to see him out of breath—which is why he briskly walked through corridors until he reached the hall. For some reason he felt nervous but he felt rather silly; he's a pirate for God's sake. His hands reached for the cold knob of the door and slowly twisted them and pushed the door open.

"You're late." Her voice was reprimanding, her face emotionless and yet he couldn't help but gawk at her splendor. Thankfully he was able to put himself altogether.

"No, you're just a tad bit too early." He flashed a smile. He looked so smug that Aurora couldn't help but roll her eyes at him.

"Whatever just come here." Her hand gestured for him to walk near her and he did. He finds it astounding at how fast she can make orders that one would follow right away. "I'm expecting you know the basics." Aurora faced him and he swore to God he can see a smile slowly ripping through her face.

"What, do you think pirates can't have a feast and dance? Of course I do. I also know how to tango." He leaned towards the princess and arched his eyebrows. _Oh the dance of love._ He could just sweep her off her feet and twirl her to her heart's content but he knew he would get in trouble if he does that.

"Ah, unfortunately we're going to dance the waltz." Her hand was clutching a remote, for the player perhaps? She pressed play on the remote – it took her quite some time to get used to the technology of the town especially without her servants or fairies to guide her but thanks to Emma, Snow and David, she was able to learn of their proper use. The moment she set down the remote on a nearby table, she approached Killian and put one hand on his shoulder, the other on his hand.

Once the music started to play, Killian took one step forward and led the dance. It was hard for him – to dance with her and restrain himself from doing anything. The music didn't help him feel any better. It was mellow; slow and yet romantic. He wanted to embrace her and bring her close but he knew that one single move would only hurt them both. He wanted her more than anything else, though he refuses to admit it. His gaze went to her, and it only dawned to him that she's been looking up at him ever since. He couldn't help but think – maybe she likes him too; but who is he kidding? She's a princess, one destined to govern a kingdom and not run away with a pirate.

"You're lucky I have both hands now, you know." He broke the silence, and smiled along with his statement, still moving along with the music that was ringing through their ears.

"Well, I'd still ask you even if you only have one good hand."

"Why?"

"Because I know you'd be gentle with me."

It broke his heart; for her to speak this way towards him as if he was no bandit people feared. All his life, everyone he met along his travels would fear him or argue with him – but _she_, Aurora, she was different. Ever since Emma and the group found him, she saw a different light in him. She saw the goodness in him; she saw what everyone didn't see—his heart. He didn't bother to reply; he didn't know what to say in return. Instead, he focused on the dance which is the purpose of their rendezvous. It wouldn't take long anyway. Soon enough, the song will be over and they'll both go back to living their own lives.

"I used to think I was starting to fancy you. Or maybe even fall for you. But you were so adamant; you refuse to let anyone, even yourself, love. I'm not quite sure if you still hadn't gotten over Milah but … I can see how scared you are when it comes to loving someone that I didn't … I stopped myself from falling for you. But I'm not quite sure if I've completely stopped that."

He remained unspoken, despite the arrows being thrown at his heart. He didn't know who to blame – him for being a pirate, or her for being a princess. People say love has no boundaries. But Killian knows better.

"You're engaged, _princess_. The reason why I'm dancing with you is because you're practicing for your dance with Philip. And even if I did return your feelings, would it still matter? It's too late." He managed to speak the words properly past the lump on his throat without showing any sign of feeling.

The music was playing still and surrounding the room with its melody and tune, the music playing just for the two of them and yet there was silence. No words coming out from their mouth, nothing.

"Killian?"

"Yes?"

"Did you ever love me?"

_Silence. _It isn't so often that a pirate doesn't answer back right away; she's the only one who could leave him wordless. He didn't know what to answer; he was conflicted with both his feelings and his reputation. Should he pursue his love, or let their duties – a pirate and a princess—prevent their affection from one another? If he tells her the truth, he knew that they'll end up getting hurt – and bad events might come after. If he lies, the same thing would happen. Both of them will end up hurt, he for lying and she for falling for a guy who would never return her feelings. It was simply a matter of deciding whether to be honest with her or not, but then again, it's difficult to lie to her once you get mesmerized in her eyes.

"I did. I still do." He spoke softly and grasped at her hand a little tightly. The song was about to end, and soon enough their rendezvous, their dance— it will be forgotten and if not, both will pretend it never happened. The song was amorous, ideal for lovers to dance to. But why is it that it was more heartbreaking rather than romantic for them?

She surprised him by leaning in and placing her head on his shoulder, her arms slowly wrapping themselves around him, embracing him for what would be a sad goodbye. Both have stopped dancing now; Killian stood still, devastated at their situation. It wasn't long before he too placed his arms around her. For a moment, the world disappeared and it was just them standing in the middle of the room, the music still playing for the two of them as it nears towards its final note.

This is where it all ends. Everything he could have ever hoped for, everything she could have ever wanted. Once the music stops, it's over – their romantic dreams gone, and yet they have to face the life that's ahead of them without the presence of the other. If only they can stop time and remain in their position, they would. But all good things come to an end, and this is where theirs end.

They were so close to reaching their happily ever after – if only he had admitted his feelings instead of being in denial, if only she had reached out more to him and confessed sooner rather than later. But they were only so close and they never got to reach it.

The music stopped, a sign for them to let go of the other. Aurora was still holding on to him as tight as she could – he knew what he had to do. Killian embraced her for the last time, his lips touching her hair as he whispered softly, "_Farewell my princess."_ With those words, he gently pushed her away from him. He bent over and reached for her hand as he looked at her for the last time, slowly planting a kiss on her forehand. After the gesture, he turned around and walked quickly towards the door, making sure he wouldn't turn around to look at her for one more time. He had to move fast before she could say another word that would stop him from moving. They both needed to move on and he couldn't do that if he kept seeing her face.

The doors closed behind him and he knew that there is no turning back now. That would be the last of her and he wasn't sure what to be sad about – the fact that he would no longer see her or the fact that he left her with a sad look on her face.

Killian never did look back. He just walked and walked until he came face to face with his ship, the one thing that could possibly erase her from his mind. He chuckled softly, one that is tainted with pain, and boarded the ship.

He knew that no one, nothing, can completely erase her from his mind. Not when they inches away from having their famous happy end.

"_We were so close, Princess. But I guess this is where our story ends… so I bid thee goodbye._"

Having said his final words to the town and to the princess, Killian readied his ship as he continues to face the faceless life he has ahead of him.


End file.
